Alone? Lonely?

Have you ever felt completely alone in a crowd of people? Afraid to reach out? Scared you'll be hurt again if you show you are vulnerable? I tell myself not to let myself get caught in this and yet I've seen so many people walk away that I gave my heart to. I stand there stoic and plaster a fake smile and say, "I'm fine." I'm putting one foot in front of the other these days hoping the rope doesn't break. I can't talk about it...talk about me. What if they walk away also? The idea that man is not an island just doesn't make sense to me. So easy for me to say to others to have a leap of faith. My faith -- at least for now -- is quiet and I can hear the hollowness of my soul. White outside the window; black inside me.